The Traveler

Issue date: 4/15/09 Section: Lifestyles

Media Credit: Lindsey Pruitt

When my family gathers, anything goes. And when I say anything, I mean anything.

After stressing myself out the entire week to get everything done so I could skip class on Friday, I expected that this would be a day well skipped.

After all, I was excited about meeting my family a day early and traveling to Memphis for a little sight-seeing.

We make up a motley crew, the Pruitt family. My nieces and nephews are usually screaming while the rest of us try to ignore them.

Meanwhile, my dad is screaming about logistics to everyone while my mom tries to settle him down saying, "Jerry! Let's just play it by ear."

I usually find myself floating through the mess as an observer, just taking it all in.

While we are all loving, intelligent people, when we get together it gets a bit crazy, as I'm sure it does with most families.

There is only so much I can take.

I wake up in the morning to the sound of the children yelling in the hallway of our hotel, my mother's hair dryer blowing and my dad yelling at her to hurry up in the bathroom.

My incoherence from a night's sleep and confusion from all the noise was made even larger when my mom said, "Guess where we're going today?"

Hoping for a shopping adventure or even a good movie, I was more than surprised to hear her say, "The Scoop on Poop." Between my obvious repulsion and the look on my face, even with all the noise, I just knew we could both hear crickets.

Now, granted, this is not actually that surprising coming from my family.

Like I said, anything goes, but being in a city like Memphis, famous for many things, I was expecting more of a prestigious sight-seeing adventure. Not.

Turns out that "The Scoop on Poop" is a traveling exhibit that happened to be in Memphis at a museum called "The Pink Palace."

When I think of pink palaces, I think of princesses and candy, not excrement. The whole thing was rather ironic. I decided to deal with this situation as I would any other strange Pruitt venture. I simply said to myself, "My life is a sitcom," and let the day roll.

At the entrance of the exhibit was a huge photo of a dog doing, well, his business. Although a cartoon, it was still vivid enough to gross me out.

I will admit, I had to laugh most of the time. Was there really an entire exhibit just for poop?

Apparently so.

While wandering around halfway disgusted and halfway interested, I did learn a few things.

First of all, when I walked, a terrifyingly large pile of dung donated so graciously by an elephant greeted me.

Next to it was a scale, on which you could find out how long it would take an elephant to empty itself of your weight.

For me, eight hours and my weight would be only a small portion of the 400 pounds an elephant eats a day.

The whole scale idea was kind of cool, and now the poop was gaining my approval.

I was most interested in the "uses of poop section," because who uses poop?

Apparently our good friends and neighbors, the "Okies," like to throw poop for fun ... monkeys?!

Believe it or not, cow-pie tossing contests are popular events in parts of Oklahoma.

They select chips of dried cow dung and see who can throw the farthest. The record distance is more than 185 feet.

And people think Arkansans are hillbillies ... ha!

Another humorous fact about poop: during WWII, the British had a poop-favoring magician on their side who hid explosives in camel poop in North Africa, knowing that German tank drivers thought it was good luck to drive over dung piles.

After the Germans figured it out, the magician began creating bombs to mimic dung that had already been run over.

Genius!

I think the most ironic statement in the whole place was that many animals use poop as perfume to attract mates. Now that's hot.

On my way out, a wildly unattractive woman with a creepy smile grabbed my arm and made me match the animal with its droppings.

I've never failed a test so miserably, but I did learn something! That's always positive!

I suppose now I'm in the loop on the scoop on poop.

Lindsey Pruitt is the assistant Lifestyles editor for The Arkansas Traveler. Her column appears every other Wednesday.

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