Half-time heretics
Listen Up!
Brian Washburn
Issue date: 1/26/09 Section: Lifestyles
It's officially less than a week from the most popular Sunday of the year. That Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday (sorry Easter). The showdown offers answers to all of those who pay attention to several baffling questions and events concerning the game. But the real question is not how the hell did the Arizona Cardinals get into the Super Bowl (that answer would be 74-year-old Kurt Warner). No, the baffling question is why the hell is Bruce Springstein playing the half-time show?
Don't get me wrong. He is still technically the boss, but this is the most watched television production of the year. Can we not at least try to get somebody who is a little modern and still relevant to young and old sports fans alike?
The past five Super Bowl half-time performers list as such: Tom Petty, Prince, The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and the infamous (and now not so shocking) Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake incident. Although all of these performers have cemented their places as music legends for generations to come, only JT was actually relevant and could be identified by a majority of the pre-teen audience. Not only are these bands not pertinent to the growing number of youngsters watching grown men beat the living daylight out of each other over a unique shaped ball made of pigskin while they simultaneously make millions of dollars, but none of their songs are the quintessential "get jacked up to hit somebody" tunes usually blared through stadiums across the nation (except, of course, for the Stones' "Start Me Up," which is an atrocious song to begin with). Therefore, here are my top five performance suggestions for Super Bowl 44.
Survivor - Although Survivor might be better suited for a boxing match, or at least stay in their respected Rocky III era, they would be a well-rounded choice to perform at next year's extravaganza. Technically, no NFL teams are the tigers. So when Survivor don their leather jackets and berets, and blast into "Eye of the Tiger" both teams vying for a championship can be pumped up (or at least have the adrenaline to knock out Apollo Creed, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T or a gigantic, steroid-downing Russian).
Don't get me wrong. He is still technically the boss, but this is the most watched television production of the year. Can we not at least try to get somebody who is a little modern and still relevant to young and old sports fans alike?
The past five Super Bowl half-time performers list as such: Tom Petty, Prince, The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and the infamous (and now not so shocking) Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake incident. Although all of these performers have cemented their places as music legends for generations to come, only JT was actually relevant and could be identified by a majority of the pre-teen audience. Not only are these bands not pertinent to the growing number of youngsters watching grown men beat the living daylight out of each other over a unique shaped ball made of pigskin while they simultaneously make millions of dollars, but none of their songs are the quintessential "get jacked up to hit somebody" tunes usually blared through stadiums across the nation (except, of course, for the Stones' "Start Me Up," which is an atrocious song to begin with). Therefore, here are my top five performance suggestions for Super Bowl 44.
Survivor - Although Survivor might be better suited for a boxing match, or at least stay in their respected Rocky III era, they would be a well-rounded choice to perform at next year's extravaganza. Technically, no NFL teams are the tigers. So when Survivor don their leather jackets and berets, and blast into "Eye of the Tiger" both teams vying for a championship can be pumped up (or at least have the adrenaline to knock out Apollo Creed, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T or a gigantic, steroid-downing Russian).
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