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Tech lessons for new students

Jonathan Harrop

Issue date: 8/22/07 Section: Life & Style
So, another school year has begun, bringing new faces into the wild bunch of students who call UA their home.

No doubt the group of young, fresh, unjaded faces I saw meandering across campus during their orientation would soon learn the ins-and-outs of surviving life at the UA.

To aid them in this process, I've been instructed to provide some vague advice to the new students. Please allow me to reveal the fundamental truths of the wonderful electronic advancements put at your disposal by the UA and those fun little resources that can be found on the rest of the Internet.

Lesson 1: ISIS will inevitably be down just when you need it most, like on the first day of a new semester when you have no idea where your class is. There also will be classes that simply don't get updated, so you have no idea where or what time a class is, or who teaches it.

Lesson 2: ISIS-- Despite what the administration might tell you, ISIS stands for "Incredibly stupid information system." Facebook says so. Like Wikipedia, everything on Facebook is completely true. 

Lesson 3: While we're talking about Facebook, the single most useful purpose of Facebook is to check and see if that cute girl or guy next to you is listed as single or not. Remember that everything on Facebook is an undeniable fact.

Lesson 4: Classes based around WebCT are, as a rule, based around busy work.  Becoming more environmentally conscious is part of the college experience, so you should always embrace the opportunity to save trees.

Lesson 5: Speaking of saving trees, your student account has been charged a "Student Technology Fee" to make the most of you or your parents' money. Leave your printer at home and print all documents in the nearest available computer lab.

Lesson 6: For some reason, the campus wireless network works best when it is overcast outside and between 60 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Any less or more than this will mean that the only reliable connection will be 7 to 10 feet from the router itself.
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